We are often told to treat people the way we would like to be treated. But often our lack of regard for ourselves is reflected and evident in our behaviour and responses to others. This is often not a conscious behaviour and for many of us it is a learned behaviour. So the first step to improving our relationships is to assess our self treatment. Once we have respect and consideration for ourselves, we are more likely to receive it in return.
Common examples of marriage and relationship issues:
When the man in the relationship looks stunned because he thought his relationship was going really well, whilst his partner is flying off the handle about something he just said and is calling it quits, ‘her natural go-to reaction’. Be that because she is offended, hormonal, had an extreme lack of sleep lately, or not enough attention being paid to her. It is all a mystery to her beloved. Whatever he said was a trigger to her, though he does not know to ask himself, ‘what did she just make that mean’, to try to make an attempt to rectify the situation.
Vice versa, it can drive a woman batty when her true love is acting as though he’s listening but his mind is on a work project, watching a game or worried about their finances and hasn’t really heard a word she’s said, which by the way she can usually tell. Wanting only to feel heard, valued and worthy of his attention.
Naturally, these examples can go both ways and can flip between both genders. We are often caught up in ourselves, preoccupied, thoughtless, can’t live with each other, can’t live without. Be aware: When pointing the finger at another, your other three are facing yourself at the time.
What can you do to make a difference in your relationship?
Say what you mean, mean what you say. Don’t play mind games, be your best self.
Ask yourself, what did I just make that mean? Look for triggers and learn how to put them to rest.
Treat yourself with respect and kindness, then it will be easier to do this for others automatically.
Need more help contact me or purchase one of my coaching plans.